THE 3 UNPREDICTABLE BRITISH WS

Having lived in the UK for almost 4 months, the 3 unpredictable Ws have always struck me. I first heard about them from a guest but later realised that there was nothing new in them. Initially they sounded mysterious but take a moment to look around and they stare directly in your face! So this edition of ‘Nuances’ will be trying to demystify them.

Weather is the first unpredictable W. When I arrived in Petey Town in the month of October, veterans of this place predicted the worst winter ever. Indeed it was the worst ever winter for the whole of Britain except.....(hold your breath) of course in Petey town. It snowed for a paltry 3 days!!! I could hardly enjoy the snow leave alone build a snow man or shoot snow balls at my hubby. Again when people were struggling to step out of their houses in all parts of Britain, it was a stifling, gut wrenching 9C in Petey town which almost sucked the air out of my lungs. By any standards that’s too hot!!! (Here, I might really sound crazy since I am a native of Bangalore; a city that has seen many summers in the near past with temperatures as high as being capable of melting a human. But face it people, 9C is very HOT here). Let me not take away everything from the weather. There were many days when the sidewalks used to be frozen with a thick layer of ice. I grandly fell down one day almost pulling my partner down with me. Lucky me, I still have all my bones intact. Nevertheless, this did not prevent the both of us from laughing our heads off in the middle of the road! In this process, one of my coat buttons gracefully broke free of my coat and landed on the road. I was reminded of nothing but “The prisoner of Azkaban” where the coat buttons of a bloating Aunt Marge hits the television watching Dudley square in his face. Again, I let out an uncontrolled volley of laughter leaving my partner wondering if I was hit on the head and had become woozy!!! Bless him. What irks me most is the fact that at times, the weather looks so pleasing and perfect from the window, with the sunshine washing over every little leaf. But the moment I step out of the house to warm myself, I am hit by a blast of freezing breeze good enough to convert me into an ice statue. Hmm, this is just too unpredictable if I rely solely on my vision. So now, whenever I venture outside the house, I am armed with a warm jacket, a pair of gloves, a scarf and finally (don’t snigger) an umbrella. Who knows when the skies will open up??? Though it is unpredictable, I have come to accept and like the English weather very much.

Work is the second unpredictable W. I keep hearing professionals talk about unexpected changes in fortune. One day every person on the road looking for a job gets one and just the next day the story is different. Let’s forget that for a minute; it is the work culture that surprises me the most. Can you imagine a packed mall with all the leading brands just closing down as early as 5.30 pm on a weekend? Trade pundits would go nuts to witness such an act back in India. But this is exactly the story here. Even the store owners and workers want to enjoy life. So they shut shop as early as 7 pm on the usual days and head home for a cosy time or for a swig of beer in the nearby friendly pub. It was only during the Christmas and the year end season that the shops were kept open till 9 pm to boost sales. Shops owned by Asians or their descendents generally stay open for a long time; but it is never true with those owned by the English.

Woman is considered to be the final unpredictable W but what surprises me is that aren’t women considered to be unpredictable in any part of the world? So what is so unpredictable about English women? In reality it is very difficult to find a true British woman. This country is filled with so many immigrants that it is very rare to find true English blood. A single common feature of the women that struck me most when I first came here and still continues to strike me to this day is the sight of 2 out of 3 women pushing baby prams with the most gorgeous and angelic babies. Most of them are just out of their teens with bubble gum pink hair or punk style dress sense. So you either come across grandmothers barely able to walk but always ready to shop or these young women pushing their kids around in groups of 2 or4. But I personally like the look of the middle aged confident looking ladies walking briskly in their needle pointed heels and well groomed looks. They appear to be very professional and ready to conquer the world. Talking of good looks, all the fair skinned women are so well kempt. Every single woman has well polished nails, beautifully coloured hair, perfect make up and an immaculate dressing sense. It is definitely a sight to see. One can never help but take a second look at these beautiful creations of the almighty.